Uncertain Is Such A Nice Word For Such A Negative Feeling
I’m starting to believe that maybe I can’t cope with this.
I’ve been through rough patches before, but this feels different. I’m having very negative thoughts about myself and my ability to deal with the kinds of criticism I’ve been getting.
I know when you open up and let the good in, you have to confront the bad that comes with it. And this was always such an ‘out there’ idea that people were bound to be divided in what they thought about it.
I have never held myself up to be a shining example of how to cope with depression – I know I have hidden away, and let it rule me. It’s still easy to hide in it – Depression is a seductive mistress.
And anything that people say I can guarantee I have said worse to myself over the years.
But for some reason I just feel incredibly fragile.
Maybe it wasn’t the right time?
Maybe I’m not the right person?
Maybe he’s not the right person?
Maybe it would have been a good idea coming from someone else?
I’m just really unsure.
Meg, I can only imagine how intimidating and overwhelming this has been and is for you, but please know that YOU CAN DO THIS even though its probably a constant battle! Forget about the negative (easier said than done) and look at the positive! You are, whether you want to be or not, a roll model to lots of people suffering depression! Just look at how brave you’ve been already its soooo inspiring!
As far as the right time – I don’t think there will be a right time for him, he’s too in the public eye at the moment;
You not being the right person? – of course you are because it was your ‘crazy idea’ and it has got you up in the morning and feeling positive at times i’m sure!
Him being the right person? – he definitely has he’s own battles and i’m sure he’d be able to relate to depression in some way even though the world is at his feet, which if that isn’t a cause for some form of depression, being harassed by paparazzi and fans constantly, what is?
This ‘crazy idea’ is you and its for you and ‘one in five’ and all sufferers of depression! You are doing an awesome job and I know a I’ve told you before, and whether my opinion counts or not doesn’t matter, but YOU ARE brave and inspiring!
YOU CAN DO THIS MEG!
Girlfriend, this was an incredibly creative idea to spread awareness for your cause. You’re getting people that may not and have never suffered from depression on your site and reading what you’re saying…why? Because of general RPattz love! You’ve found a way to tap into a mega interest that so many people have and you’ve made it work for you and bringing attention to depression in a very positive, happy way. The irony!
Any time you have a website and put your thoughts and opinions out there you’re always going to have people that want to tear you down. It’s very easy for people to be cruel as they hide behind a faceless computer screen, never having to face you. I’ve gone through this myself having my own website. But you have to know when to laugh it off and not take it seriously! Don’t let it get you down, trust me.
What you’re doing is great. Even if you never get a kiss from RPattz (which I hope you do) it won’t matter. You’ve done something very cool here and you should be proud of yourself for thinking of it first!
I just came across your video over the web.. At first I thought it was a joke, and I thought you just might be one of those overly zealous fans, but really truely, I can see that you are an an extremely thoughtful, kind hearted, and genuine individual.
I think I can relate to you on some level, and so do many others. In fact, I think depression in some level or form hits every human being at one point or another. I wish I could offer words of wisdom and encouragement. All I know is that the only thing that has helped me was putting my faith and trust into the unknown. Without faith in God, I really really really reallly reallly see no damn point…
You are such a interesting and beautiful girl! thats all i ultimately wanted to say. 70 percent of people i come across daily are so shallow and materialistic, and just plain ignorant. you have something more, a good character. you are a real person. Pain brings out the real person. I’m constantly plagued by the thought that I’m a nobody, that I cant stick up for myself, I have no individuality, no real character.. I’m constantly struggling to be real, to reveal the whats really inside me and its hard.
so, find your value. find it, and hold onto it and fight for it like a bitch.
I can’t even begin to express how grateful I am for all the support and kind words.
I truly, truly appreciate it. I don’t know if people realise how hard it is to put yourself out there when you’ve spent so long hiding from public opinion and scrutiny. I’ve been so close to quitting, so many times.
I just…I wish I could explain how lucky I am that I have had people be so supportive. Thank you xx