Thank you
Thanks to some amazing work by Rana Kelly and Ellin Galadh on Facebook, the EmsCharityKiss blog has had a surge of visitors. I just wanted to say hello, and thank you all for caring enough to take a look at the project.
I have been meaning to make a new video, but everytime I go to do it I get horribly self concious. I really dislike how I’m looking at the moment, and despite how superficial that may sound (and I know it sounds horribly shallow) it’s stopping me from doing a video. But I am determined that it will happen in the next couple of days.
I’m also thinking of adding a page where people can write messages / share stories of their own illnesses. It would be anonymous of course, but what does everyone think of that idea?
It’s still been frustrating trying to get publicity for the project, and Robert Pattinson is getting harder and harder to contact. But we will get there, I’m determined that he should at least know about what he helped inspire, and that he was part of a much bigger, broader picture.
Thank you again <3 <3
Em x
BB, I love you, and I was going to go to sleep right now after working on the group and perfecting the email i sent to spunk, but I saw this and I’m fucking well and proper gutted, missy. You should know this! What did I tell you about the words you say and the things you write? Huh? You need a spanking. Go see the hOOrs right nao. Them’s some crazy, bizarre bitches the scare me sometimes, and they will pwn you for being negative in front of me, lmfao!
To remind you exactly what the fuck you mean to this world and to me and to every single staff member we’ve got and EVERY SINGLE PERSON WHO ACCEPTED THE INVITATION TO JOIN THE GROUP IN ONE WEEK! This is what you mean to us, hunny. I fucking love the piss outta you so quit takin’ the piss. LOL. Dunno, ask the brudder.
I heard “Let Me Sign” and my jaw dropped open and I was like WHO IS THAT??? Whoever he was he was my new favorite singer. Even if he had a man pelt and a teeth missing I would have still been addicted to his voice. When I found out it was indeed Robby and then listened again to “Never Think” only then did I realize, hey, you know… he’s fn HOT! It’s amazing what musical talent can do for a woman like me. Then, I had to find out more about him. The first place I looked was http://www.spunk-ransom.com/, we all know that spunk site and it is now officially my favorite because of them sponsoring my Emmie. <3 I saw Em's banner, that link on the right side of their site. I looked at it. I looked at Rob's frustrated and sad face and I saw her headline: "an aussie girl, a charity, and a first kiss from Robert Pattinson" and I nearly broke down right there. I'm 33, I've been through Hell and Hades and the deepest pits of Valhalla with men in my life, but Emmie, at 28 years old, has never, ever been intimate with anyone. Because she's sad. Because she's insecure. Because she's shy. Because she's anxious. Because she's very, very vulnerable. Completely just like me and yet totally opposite. And that, ladies and gentlemen, shattered my heart. I clicked on that link and I saw her sweet, pretty face and I read her blog entries and watched her videos and just cried. Cried for her, for me, for everyone with horrible thoughts and hard times, because sometimes, like Emmie, and I'm sure everyone else like us, we feel so, so small. So unheard. So insignificant. And that is why I wrote her. I had to help.
It really, truly hit me in the heart and in my guts, that this was just as much about me as it was about Emmie and to the people I love in my life that suffer like me, the two friends who killed themselves this year, one more who tried while on the phone with me, and one who died of complications from the emotional agony he suffered through all of his adult life. And then, there's the rest of the world. I'm crying my eyes out right now just typing this out because it hurts so much. I wanted Emmie to be heard, and I wanted to make a real difference on this planet. That's what she wants. She just had this one small spark, a tear drop in the sunlight, and a little hope left in her, and a "crazy idea," so she opened herself up to the world, laid bare all her skeletons, aware that she could fail and that no one would hear her, and started this charity. In 33 years, I have been completely unsuccessful at life and whenever the question came up "if you could ask for anything, what would it be?" and "what do you want more than anything in your life?" The answer was always, always the same for me… Check the old notes on my facebook profile; read the surveys, the answer is two words and it's consistent and cruel and painful and it has been with me since I was eight years old: stop breathing. And there are billions just like me. Maybe even you. And so here I am. I took Emmie's dream, and I put it on my shoulders and I'm hauling ass.